Despite overwhelming evidence that long hours can be harmful to both workers and employers, many professionals continue to struggle to overcome their assumptions and deeply ingrained habits about working hours. What does it take to break free of these unhealthy habits and achieve a more sustainable and rewarding work-life balance?
Ok, full declaration! I’m a retired medical epidemiologist that worked 35 years in Africa and Asia on infectious diseases. Best to “Do as I say, not as I did.” I hope you can learn from my reflections.
To investigate this Life-Work Balance question, a study conducted nearly 200 in-depth interviews with 78 professionals from the London offices of global law and accounting firms. They interviewed an equal number of men and women, and most respondents were between the ages of 30 and 50, had at least one dependent child, and held middle or senior management positions.
Most of the respondents described their work as very difficult, tiring, and chaotic and seemed to believe that long hours were essential to their professional success. However, about 30% of the men and 50% of the women in our sample seemed to consciously resist working overtime, describing various strategies they developed to maintain a healthy work-life balance. While the details of each case varied, their research revealed a common thought process that consistently helped this group of professionals change the way they worked and lived for the better.
At a high level, the research has shown that achieving a better balance between professional and personal priorities comes down to a combination of hypothesis testing to increase self-awareness—and deliberate role redefinition. It is important to note that the research shows that this is not a one-time decision, but rather a cycle in which we must constantly participate as our circumstances and priorities change.
Take a step back and ask yourself: What is currently causing me stress, imbalance, or dissatisfaction? How do these circumstances affect the way I work and do my job? How do they affect my personal life? Only after taking a mental break and becoming aware of these factors can you begin to address them.
Examples of rethinking Life-Work Balance
After several years of intensive work on her career, Maya*, a senior lawyer at a law firm, described how she felt like she hit rock bottom. “I worked quite a lot of hours… it was a terrible time… And I think that was the key moment for me. I thought I won’t do it anymore, it’s ridiculous. So, I guess I took a real step back from that point on.”
Similarly, Kate’s legal partner told us that after having a baby, she went through a major psychological shift. She acknowledged that although the idea “[I] should work, I should work, I should work” was “infused into [her]”, she was now aware of the “clash” between that idea and “where [she] was now.” “I’m a mother.” This fateful event was the momentum she needed to take a step back, recognize the discrepancy between her current position and her personal priorities, and begin to denormalize her habit of working overtime.
Of course, all the professionals we spoke to led very busy lives. Many of them explained that they usually didn’t have the time or energy to stop and think, and even expressed gratitude for the space for reflection that the interview process itself gave them. But while it is often a major life event, such as the birth of a child or the death of a loved one, that catalyzes these realizations, you can take a break and start rethinking your priorities at any time. And while some professionals can work long hours comfortably, taking the time to reflect on these questions and acknowledge the compromises you have made (intentionally or unintentionally) is beneficial for anyone who wants to discover alternative ways of working and living.
Pay attention to your emotions. Once you have increased your awareness of the current situation, explore how the situation makes you feel. Ask yourself, do I feel energized, fulfilled, and fulfilled? Or am I feeling angry, resentful, or sad? “You feel resentment and bitterness because things that are simply not that important to the essence of life take up your precious time and time… When you see someone who has lost a life, or someone has been told they are soon to die; it becomes a wake-up call!
It’s important to rationally understand the decisions and priorities that guide your life, but equally important is emotional reflection—the ability to recognize how a situation makes you feel. Knowing your emotional state is critical to determining the changes you want to make in your work and life. Raising your cognitive and emotional awareness gives you the tools you need to put things in perspective and determine how to align with your priorities.
Ask yourself: what am I willing to sacrifice and for how long? If, for example, I prioritize work over family, why do I find it important to prioritize my life in this way? What do I already regret and what will I regret if I continue my current path?
This Blog does not have all the answers. But it can point the way. Join me at Kickstart Café, as we search out better ways of living.
