Believe it or not, it is not only possible, but quite common for someone to consciously convince themselves that they want change in their life, but subconsciously put all
their effort into keeping everything the same as it is right now.
They even go through all the motions of starting a new project, enlisting help, buying software, having a website built, and creating all kinds of marketing text and tools, only to consistently find some insurmountable challenge when it gets close to a start
date that prevents them from following through.
Why would anyone do that?
Fear
Fear is the prime reason that most people don’t follow through.
Fear of what?
● Fear of success
● Fear of failure
● Fear of what others might think, say, or do
● Or all of the above
They are unhappy, unmotivated, and unfulfilled. They know exactly what they
need to do, but never manage to get it done. They are often solitary individuals who have lots of friends and contacts, but, in reality, they live their lives almost entirely in their own heads.
This vicious circle of starting and then stopping, over and over again, can cause them to have low confidence, low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression, which reinforces their overwhelming desire to keep everything the same, no matter how good a new future might look.
Does this scenario describe you? If so, what can you do about it?
Is There a Solution?
One of the best ways to break this pattern is to help someone less fortunate than
yourself. Perhaps try charitable work or something similar, where people depend on your help, energy, and support, and you know it.
In this charitable work, consider how you have a responsibility to others where you cannot possibly let down those who depend on you. That way, you are not working for your personal rewards, but for someone who cannot possibly fulfill their
ambitions on their own.
The feeling you get from helping others is so strong, so compelling, that your
personal anxiety diminishes, and your self-esteem rises in direct proportion to each other.
You’ll enjoy strong feelings of accomplishment and, in turn, fulfillment. You’ll find
yourself in a place of happiness that you’ve never experienced before, and you really like it.
Make a Decision and Take Action
Through practical experience, you’ll come to realize that when you make a decision and take action, you move forward. You’ll recognize that you only have one life, and you can live it best and most fully by making decisions and taking action.
You’ll also acknowledge that doing things for someone else allows you to fully
engage your talents in a way that you could never have experienced while just
working for yourself.
When you find purpose in all that you do, you will also realize that the fear evaporated long ago, and now you can feel a sense of pride in your work that was
never there before.
Through helping others, you’ll come to understand that it doesn’t even matter if you make a wrong decision or take the wrong action. You can always make another decision and take another action and correct it.
The most important thing is that you keep making decisions and taking action.
It’s the only way to effect change in anything. I was finishing up my pediatric residency and deciding what I wanted to do. And I thought before settling down in a job, I wanted to work for six months in some sort of humanitarian position. I was offered a fluke opportunity to work in the WHO Smallpox Eradication program in India! I didn’t even know what smallpox was! But my Chief of Pediatric assured me they would teach me. That decision changed my life! I would work for two years in the program and smallpox would be eradicated while I was there. That experience
got me interested in international public health and as they say- the rest is history!
The biggest changes will be the ones you experience yourself, but it may still take others to point them out. You are so talented, and you have no idea how gifted you are until you see other people’s lives improve because of your actions.
That’s when you’ll get to see your true, authentic self, show up in your smile as you look forward to finally being able to start creating the future you desire.
